Normal dating time before engagement
Other useful takeaways:•Happily married couples shared many traits, including courtships that progressed smoothly toward marriage with little drama; their courtships had a quiet, romantic feeling, but as important, they sensed they were marrying someone who could be a good friend.•Unhappily married couples had low-key courtships that moved forward slowly because either one or both of the partners lacked much warmth or had difficult personalities.•Early exiters (what Huston calls “Country Music Romances”) divorced very quickly, within two to seven years of marrying.They have very long courtships and appeared to marry with the hope that it would “improve” the relationship, though they’re well aware that they have major problems.•Delayed-action divorces (“Hollywood Romance Group”) had highly romantic courtships, but their affection declined considerably over the first few years of marriage.Love To Know (LTK): Why is it important to know about the five stages of dating? If you try to avoid one of the stages, problems may develop in the relationship which may result in you or your partner ending the relationship.When you recognize what stage of dating the relationship is in, you will understand what is called for or needed in order to move through that stage and onto the next stage.Long courtships, Huston argues, are rarely long because the partners are exercising due caution.If a couple is still finding lots of reasons not to marry after four or more years, then that’s usually because they’re subconsciously picking up on problems or even thinking that they themselves aren’t suitable for marriage, ever.”Makes perfect sense to me. There are MANY men who propose as soon as they can when they’re in love. In it, Professor Ted Huston studies 168 couples for ten years.
Of course, not every relationship moves beyond infatuation - and infatuation doesn't last very long.
Which is why I’m going to double down on my theory that you shouldn’t get engaged before at least two years (like most couples already do) and you shouldn’t marry when you’re caught up in those giddy feelings.
By the same token, if one party is really delaying marriage (going beyond 4 years), then it’s not a matter of being cautious, it’s a sign that he/she doesn’t really want to get married.
For some people, it may take a couple of meetings to determine if they want to date a particular person.
What is needed here is to come across as someone who is interesting and fun to be with.
If you expect your marriage to be otherwise, you’ve got a big surprise waiting for you.“The fact of a couple moving quickly toward marriage is not in and of itself a problem as much as what is driving the speed.