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Ms Farrar’s bill also insists that any doctor providing a vasectomy or prescribing Viagra must first read a ‘Man’s Right to Know’ booklet with the patient.
This, Ms Farrar has said, is a response to current Texas law which obliges doctors to give women considering an abortion a “Women’s Right to Know” booklet.
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Hence the references to “sanctity of life” and anti-masturbation clauses that appear to take Monty Python’s advice that “every sperm is sacred” to its logical, legal conclusion.
Her bill, Ms Farrar has claimed, “mirrors real Texas laws and health care restrictions faced by Texas women every legislative session.” Emphasising the need for full male abstinence, it comes three months after Republican Tony Tinderhold proposed criminalising abortion in Texas, arguing it would make women “more personally responsible” about their sexual behaviour.
Any “unregulated masturbatory emissions outside of a woman’s vagina, or created outside of a health or medical facility, will be charged a 0 civil penalty for each emission, and will be considered an act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life.” The bill, created by state representative Jessica Farrar of Houston, would also promote “fully abstinent sexual relations” and create a “Hospital Masturbatory Assistance Registry” to “provide fully-abstinent encouragement counselling, supervising physicians for masturbatory emissions, and storage for the semen.” Allowing Texas men only “occasional” masturbatory emissions inside the approved facilities, the bill would insist that the resulting semen be “stored for the purposes of conception for a current or future wife.” After receiving its first reading, the bill has now been referred to the Texas House State Affairs Committee.
Ms Farrar has proposed that it become law on September 1.
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But before the men of Texas panic, (or head obediently to their nearest health facility), they should note that Ms Farrar is not being entirely serious.
The Texas Democrat knows her bill has no hope of becoming law, and has introduced it to satirise how women have been affected by targeted healthcare legislation in her state, particularly relating to abortion.For Ms Farrar, though, that might just sharpen the satire.