How to overcome fear of dating men
To address this conundrum, I interviewed straight, single New York City women and spoke with more than 20, of diverse races, backgrounds and occupations, between the ages of 22 and 50.
At a time when many feel that real romance has suffered a major blow due to the explosion of dating apps with their illusion of unlimited companionship at a click, as well as proliferation of online pornography, some say there could be a downside for single women in today’s heightened — some might say hyper — focus on sexual harassment.
In general, single New York women want men to know that approaching us to express sincere romantic interest is still desired. “I’ve rejected a lot of guys based on how they said something,” said Brenda Thompson, 36, a hairstylist from the Bronx. ’ instead of, ‘Excuse me, miss, how’s your day going?
’ If you weren’t raised to be disrespectful to your mother, why would you talk to a woman like that?
Years as a fat woman have given me intense anxiety about my caloric intake, and I won't consume anything more than a bottle of water in front of anyone.Any man who doesn’t know the difference between harassment and flirtation is a troglodyte, say some, and when it comes to abuse or egregious forms of harassment, that is certainly true.But when it comes to sincere efforts to approach a woman romantically, there is another, practical truth: What one woman considers annoyance or even mild harassment, another might consider harmless flirtation, or even seduction. Yet at a time when unwelcome advances are increasingly stigmatized, how is one to know in advance what type of approach is likely to be well received?“It’s about abuse of power, and men thinking they can demean women. Real masculine men can do it.” Are single women concerned this is the end of flirtation?
To be considerate and perceptive about a woman’s interest level doesn’t make you less manly . Hopefully the end of presumptuous remarks, say some.
“Like, when guys approach you and say, ‘Smile,’ ” said Connie Chen, 33, of Williamsburg.