Get to know questions for dating couples
To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles: Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.We ended up with these questions: The Bible commands Christians to marry “in the Lord,” that is, to marry other Christians (1 Corinthians ; 2 Corinthians ).
But if you are in a context in which you have watched the person’s godliness, you have marveled at their character, you have rejoiced in what God has done in them and through them, then speed isn’t a big factor. What drove the speed wasn’t a flare-up of emotions — it wasn’t a fear of loneliness, or desperation, like maybe this is my only shot. Rather, there was knowledge of his faithfulness to God, his desire to serve the Lord, and his seriousness about the things of God.
If I can get that 24-year-old single guy with a 38-year-old married man, then I have high hopes for how that 24-year-old will see, understand, and desire marriage.
But then on top of that I think what you celebrate and how you celebrate is important.
I am going to be real cautious about saying there is such a thing as “too fast.” What I would rather ask is this: What’s driving the speed?
If mere physical attraction or some kind of emotive, frilly, this-is-the-one weirdness is driving the speed, then, yes.The ability to text or to tweet or to just write on someone’s wall enables you to flirt and tease without there ever being a “what-exactly-is-this-relationship” moment.