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Right, here’s the first thing that leaps out at me: out of 20 dates, you’ve wanted to have a second date with 90% of them. is a discerning that you’ve only ever gone out with people who were exactly what you’re looking for… One of the issues with online dating is that it’s impossible to successfully gauge compatibility without meeting in person. You can have great, flirty conversations via text and instant messages or even Snapchat.But attraction and compatibility are physical components, too, and they are impossible to determine until you meet in person.When you want to have a second date with literally woman you’ve been on a date with, I’m left thinking that you’ve set the bar for a second date so low that you could trip over it. What you’re describing as “being ignored” is “women going about their daily lives”, which, remarkably, doesn’t revolve around you or your boner.If you mean “women don’t make the first move,” then you’re missing a critical factor: a lot of guys react to women who flaunt or invert gender roles.
One: the guy freaks out and reacts angrily or violently – it’s a trap, she’s a sex-worker looking for a client, whatever. – On the rare occasions that I do get a date, and I feel I make a good impression, I’m rejected after the first hurdle. – For me, It is not reasonable expect chemistry after speaking to a stranger for 2 hours, and 3 or 4 dates are required to see if there is any compatibility. Remember what I said about your having a Somebody, Anybody, Everybody problem? If you have chemistry with vibe, which is going to be a turn-off to just about every woman you meet.
Despite all of this, I have only ever had one 5-month relationship when I was 16. I’ve found it very very difficult to get dates at a regular frequency, so in that time I’ve been on only 20 dates.
And despite spending the last 11 years trying to find a girlfriend, I haven’t had a single one, and – to add insult to injury – I’m still a virgin! Of those, I felt the vast majority went well – I do have social skills after all – and I expressed interest in a second date for 17 or 18 of the women…
Doctor Nerd Love, I need your advice to get me out of a very negative mindset.
So, I’m going to break in here right at the start: this is a good thing to recognize in yourself.But, while the love may be tough, at the end we’re going to know exactly what went wrong and how we can do better next time.