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13-May-2020 08:07

After all the advice and support that applies to a lonely single man is seriously not that different from the advice and support that applies to a lonely single people in general - there is such at thing as "men's issues" but being lonely or having trouble dating is a universal. it is to date, women still find the strength to power through and find those additional partners.

So finding those partners must be really great to be worth the trouble, right?

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While women are willing to wade through shit to find good extra partners, most men just don't find additional partners at all.

And what these "oh dear, men's problem's" type posts do is act as if all this attention. Poly is not "better for women" in the sense that women get more options - not being monogamous for women and non-binary people means re-entering a harsh dating world filled with abusers, rapists, and a bunch of non-abusive men who are still very much awful, who use shame and guilt and blame and try to control them, and this with the added complication that they're now engaging in stigmatized "slutty" behavior.

All these "but what about men" people try to act like being able to be fucked by someone who doesn't respect your basic humanity is better than nothing - but in reality, any amount of interaction with anyone who doesn't respect you is worse than nothing.

And yes, just like what happens to men, I've seen women who initiate get rejected by various guys over and over again, and then get socially shamed for trying. Sometimes, some woman marries her high school sweetheart and by some good turn of luck he's a decent fellow and she goes monogamous and never dates other men and doesn't really get drunk at bars and parties and basically stays at home never faces the reality of how much rape and assault is in the world (But would you really call her lucky?

Her world is much smaller), but most of women - as in, poly women, who tend to put themselves out there boldly, who date, who generally have active social lives involving occasional moments of vulnerability around strangers in a way that men take for granted, have to face all of this awfulness.Whether you're man, woman, or non-binary, straight or queer, dating can be difficult, often for reasons which are outside your control such as attractiveness, location, etc - especially when you're part of a marginalized group and/or making socially marginalized relationship choices, such as polyamory.