Dating a bipolar
Ive arrived to the conclusion i must accept him as he is or i will become mad.So the answer for me was to be friends with benefits that way when he didn’t call me i wouldn’t feel rejected.I learned all too late in life that the words “You either love someone, or you don’t” are actually made up of complete bull $h! Many a times did I use that line on my high school sweet heart. I completely understand how he had no clue as to whether or not his feelings were that strong. However, the ability to do so does not make it okay.Always insisting that there was no way he could NOT know whether or not he loved me. At that time I was under the delusion that I had no control over who I did and didn’t love, so obviously neither should he. Especially because not all his choices are rational at all times. Do you choose to accept him for who he is, knowing he will inevitably come and go over and over again?Its really hurtful going out with him because when he wants me he pressures till i fall again and after going out with him he emotionally disconnects as if he hated me.You either love someone or you don’t, but you cant go behind then tell them you don’t love them, have sex with them and later not call in a week.We need you to know that when we have these days, weeks or even months during which our moods are uncontrollably solemn, we just need you nearby. We need you to say, "I love you." We need to hear you tell us our feelings don't define us, and that you'll be there to get us through.
And when it comes to dealing with a person who has bipolar, it no doubt becomes a double standard of which would not fly when dating someone without a mental illness. You are either infatuated with someone or you are not. So yes, he can choose to love you one day, then choose not to the next.
Or do you choose to bring the relationship down to an easier sustained friendship?
Then there is always the choice to just let go and stop letting his choices define your moments of happiness?
“You're like, bipolar,” my ex-boyfriend once told me. My moods were extreme, and at the good old age of 20, he wasn't much help in the situation due to his lack of understanding.
I would tell him to shut up and say he was rude for saying that. And although a lot of things began to make sense, it killed a part of my self-esteem. In the grand scheme of things, my ex and I both took part in the failure of our relationship.Little did I know that, about six months later, I would also tell him he was right. Like many others with a psychological or mood disorder, I tend to feel shame and embarrassment in the fact. Bipolar II is described as “high episodes of euphoria and low episodes of depression, together known as hypomania.” But this is so much more than having a good or bad day here and there, and we are not “crazy.” With the help of my best friends and loved ones, I found the help I needed. I couldn't get over our past, and he never got to know or understand my illness.