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Knowing the six levels of validation as identified by Marsha Linehan, Ph. Being present for yourself means acknowledging your internal experience and sitting with it rather than "running away" from it, avoiding it, or pushing it away. Even happiness or excitement can feel uncomfortable at times.

Often one of the reasons other people are uncomfortable with intense emotion is that they don't know what to say.

Validation is a way of communicating that the relationship is important and solid even when you disagree on issues.

Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person's thoughts,feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable. Holding someone's hand when they are having a painful medical treatment, listening with your whole mind and doing nothing but listening to a child describe their day in first grade, and going to a friend's house at midnight to sit with her while she cries because a supposed friend told lies about her are all examples of being present.

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When done in an authentic manner, with the intent of truly understanding the experience and not judging it, accurate reflection is validating.

Radical genuiness is when you understand the emotion someone is feeling on a very deep level. Radical genuineness is sharing that experience as equals. Putting them into practice is often more difficult.

Practice is the key to making validation a natural part of the way you communicate. Your best friend is upset because her husband cut up her credit card. Probably Level 2 is the highest level you could use.

Then either name the emotions you hear or guess at what the person might be feeling.

"I'm guessing you must have felt pretty hurt by her comment" is Level Three validation.One of the four options we have in any problem situation is acceptance.