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27-Mar-2020 07:49

My white boyfriend grew up in the suburbs and never had to experience dread when being talked to by the police, if he was ever even approached at all. John and Yoko, Arnold and Gerald, John Smith and Pocahontas, Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones from MIB 1, 2 or 3. Truth be told, being in an interracial relationship isn't that much different than being in a relationship, full stop.Seeing my natural reactions of fear to the police flipped a switch in him that helped him understand the overwhelming and constant anxiety that comes with being black in America. Once I’d officially been promoted to fiancée, we drove cross-country to our new home.Of course, Portland was just as amazing as he’d described; this city is full of doughnuts shaped like voodoo dolls and an air of creative enthusiasm that encourages locals to "Keep Portland Weird."There was only one detail my husband had left out.I'm always into learning, but with your significant other by your side, learning about traditions, visiting other countries, or just eating different kinds of foods is an even more enriching experience.2. Unfortunately, we still live in a world where racism is very much alive. It's hard to get used to other people fetishizing our children, but between the two of us, imagining how beautiful our kids are going to be isn't the worst way to pass the time.As harmless blog posts, cute Cheerios commercials, and the deep abysses of comments sections have taught us, there are still people out there who simply hate to see people of different races together. To quote Aziz Ansari: "Anytime you have sex with someone of a different race, think about that for a moment. If you can fantasize about what your baby with Ryan Gosling would look like, I can certainly imagine walking around with North West 2.0. It feels like Shonda Rhimes is making programming explicitly for you.

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For starters, he seemed to express genuine interest in me as a person…

Of course, he failed to mention that the first years of his life had actually taken place in Salt Lake City, Utah, which isn't exactly a melting pot of diversity.